Saturday, 16 November 2013

On their hands -at last- a dead star! But they can never taint you in my eyes.

What am I doing here? Days are folding in half and I seem to be doing nothing but taking deep, sancturious baths and retreating into the gaudy comfort of my incense-lit bedroom. Why do I simultaneously crave and abhor isolation? I can only offer the excuse of instinctively wanting to hibernate as
November presses on like late busses.
It's the time of year I usually re-read Wuthering Heights or indulge in something similar, a routine I have unwittingly formed over the past few years and have no desire to cease. At the moment I'm reading Morrissey's 'Autobiography', and despite the almost masturbatory self-indulgence it displays; quite enjoying it.

I am, and have been for some months now, becoming increasing drawn into myself, desiring constant solitude but then wishing someone was there. This isn't self-pity, merely an observation, and I suppose in female adolescents; not unusual. How is it I feel so much? Do we all? Once I told mother that I carry the sadness of the world around in my coat pockets; she told me to empty them.


Shameless, shameless.
                                    








11 comments:

  1. "Why do I simultaneously crave and abhor isolation?"

    This. The last line. The Smiths. This is so perfect. This weekend was utter shit over here and I wanted nothing more than to be with my few friends, while at the same time praying no one called and made me leave my room. Amazing how that dichotomy works. My go to song when I feel this way is "I Know it's Over" by the Smiths. What a perfect band.

    Em
    Tightrope to the Sun

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    1. I adore that song too, thank you xxx

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  2. I waited and waited for your words.
    They came, and as ever are like a fine , Downton Abbey silk.
    Never stop writing.
    These, these are the pearls of tomorrow.
    Thank you.

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    1. No, thank you! And I secretly love Downton Abbey...

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  3. I also long for hibernation the moment summer is gone. Your words are lovely.

    Also I love the way you describe yourself as a feminine-feminist. I would definitely describe myself in the same way.

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  4. I like hibernating with books and coffee in the wintertime :) nothing wrong with it at all :)

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  5. Beautiful! You have a really nice blog here! I like your posts! :)

    My Fashion Jar

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  6. lovely :)

    http://sbr-fashion-fashion.blogspot.com/

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  7. I think isolation appeals to us when it seems nothing better will ever be on the horizon. When things change and you find yourself with someone, that need for isolation retreats and is replaced with the need to be with that person. It is best not to get too involved with either.

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  8. there are worse things we could be doing besides re-reading Wuthering Heights. I do the same thing. So at least we have each other :) hehehe

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  9. My whole life I have been isolated. I am trying to come out, but it is not easy.Love your moody post.
    Mona
    www.myhollywooddaze.com

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