It's gotten to the point where I don't even know what clothes to wear in the morning (I know, I know, first world problems- can we take a moment and be glad we're not Syrian right now?) but still, the caving in, constant claustrophobic feeling has crept back, naturally uninvited and I'm doing all I can to stop all the belligerent negativity from making my supposedly-well-held walls from collapsing altogether. Writing for this weird blog, and contributing sporadically to The Wandering used to be my favourite form of therapy and now it feels like effort; too much unnecessary thought.
I have to continuously remind myself about all the gorgeous and beautiful moments that are waiting for me to come and gather them up, and all the truly lovely friends I have scattered around me like dandelion seeds, and know that actually, it is ok to not know what it is I want right now or maybe ever. Tomorrow I might meet the person who changes my life all over again and I'll never find out who that is if I hide in my chaotic bedroom all day. I promise I'll start writing here regularly again soon, I miss all the fleeting moments of connectedness that blogging gives me, and I promise something interesting and beautiful and surreal in all the right ways will happen soon.
|My best friend and I in our prom dresses, we are standing in a bath at 2am- see, mad things happen sometimes|
|I also pinned up my hair and tried to be Audrey Horne, but decided reluctantly that long hair suits me better.|
And here's some pretty inspiration to keep me going until then;
|I'm obviously in a Twin Peaks headstate|
All inspiration images sourced from weheartit.com, if you know the original artists/photographers, please let me know in a comment so I can credit them.